In Home Molestation


So this month I wanted to talk about something near and dear to my heart.  I have a short story in my book that talks about a little girl who is a foster child and being molested regularly.  She kept this to herself out of fear and guilt.  I felt the need to write about this because this is so common, more common than you know!  There are women who use sex and their bodies as a tool or a weapon because that is all they know it to be good for.  Women are getting in relationships with men, feeling like that their sex and body is the key to their happiness in the relationship.  In my opinion, this is not done purposely, but unknowingly.  I mean if a grown man can rape and forcefully take it then it must be pretty worthless right?!  A lot of times when girls go through this they carry it with them throughout womanhood, most times never telling a soul.  One who never experienced this type of abuse would have no understanding as to why a person would keep it to oneself.  Even though most times there is an adult or a person who has some type of advantage carrying out these acts on a child or someone with the mind of a child who they feel is helpless, the victim may feel a sense of guilt.  The victim may feel like maybe they may get in some type of trouble if they were to tell what was going on.  Not to mention, the victimizer, most times tell the victim something to make them fearful, or guilty.  The victim may, in some strange way feel loved and cared for by the victimizer.  The victim may get so little attention from anyone else and may be living in such bad conditions that this may feel like the closest thing to love. 

Okay so I was on the verge of talking about how girls carry these ill feelings and situations with them into their adulthood.  There are a lot of great and successful women who, if not properly dealt with, have and will continue to suffer in relationships of all kind.  When something that is so precious is taken from you, and at such an early age, first off, that is a memory that will never leave your mind.  Second off, there is a strip of self value.  As a result there is an permanent lack of trust, because most times the victims victimizer is someone who is supposed to care about the victims well being.  There are self-image issues and you have a hard time seeing your worth and continue to question it.  You continue to go through life looking for the validation of others, when what you are looking for, no other person can give you.  Then there is a sense of guilt that some face.  What if by staying silent, the victimizer is traumatizing someone else.  

I felt the need to blog about this topic because I wanted to know how others may feel about this topic.  I know many are touchy about this issue but I want to communicate about this.  I want to know who read this short story and what you thought?


4 comments


  • Jennifer

    This is such an important topic. For so long people were told “what goes on in our home is private we don’t discuss outside the home” so that child molester was able to hit multiple generations in the same family! This breaks my heart. I’m grateful to GOD that I myself have never had to deal with this abuse but I’ve had friends and family who have! I’ve seen all types of reactions to this situation! I’ve seen the women just bury it and act as if it never happened. I’ve seen the women take it and it makes them stronger. And sadly I’ve seen the women think that sex is nothing big and she can use it when needed. As families we have to be open about this. We can’t just say “don’t go with uncle/auntie alone” we have to say why and teach our children what it means, let them know it’s not ok. Let them know that you will support them if this happens to them! I’ve taught my kids since before they could talk about inappropriate touch and no matter who it is they need to tell mommy and daddy! many feel ashamed like it just happens in their family but no it happens in every family in every rage, religion, country, city and town. It happens every where! Once a molester has been identified I think they need to have a psychological evaluation to get to the root of why they abuse people, 9 time snout of 10 they were abused themselves and continue the cycle. I pray that one day we will be able to talk about this as a history lesson because it has stopped! Such a good topic thank you for starting the conversation!


  • Chris

    Thanks so much for responding and I am happy that you pushed pass this unfortunate situation! I agree with you that everyone is different and there are many adults who struggle with this regularly! It’s is pivotal that we have these conversations as they may be a vessel for a victim at any time.


  • Chris

    Thanks so much for responding and I am happy that you pushed pass this unfortunate situation! I agree with you that everyone is different and there are many adults who struggle with this regularly! It’s is pivotal that we have these conversations as they may be a vessel for a victim at any time.


  • Melissa Bender

    As a victim of in-house molestation; I speak with authority on this topic. The circumstance affects everyone differently. I personally was chestized when I spoke up at the tender age of 9. Imagine how strong I had to be to not only continue to be victimized by a half brother; but further be humiliated and be made out to be a liar when I asked for help.

    I took my situation and made it the foundation of who I am. I speak my truth; regardless of who listens and I stand up for victims who aren’t as brave as me, on all sorts of different levels.

    Similar to Maya Angelou; my idol; I know that my words matter. I use them as weapons. I found solace in Maya’s story; realizing I was more; not less.

    The sexuality of a woman; in my opinion when exposed to a realm of molestation, in conjunction with the textbook results can in fact evolve her.

    What do I mean by evolved sexuality? A woman/man with an evolved sexuality still sees them self as important and loved; she simple forgives and moves forward.

    Great Topic


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